30 July 2012

Moving on

My blog has moved house!

The migration to a new platform only partially worked so I've had to leave my followers behind. If you'd still like to follow my somewhat sporadic posts, I am now blogging at www.rebeccafreeborn.com.

Hope to see you there!

08 April 2012

Forgetting about the milestones and enjoying the journey

Yesterday I read this blog post and it really resonated with me. When you become a parent, it's just the herald of a lifetime of worrying and paranoia.

Is my child developing at the right rate?
Why can't he get up on his hands and knees yet?
Why is he so sensitive about everything?
Why doesn't he like being around other babies?
Why did he refuse to eat breakfast this morning?
Why doesn't he like looking in a mirror?

I've asked myself (and Google) these, and countless other questions, over the six and a half months of Finn's life, and just when it seems that things are on an even keel, some other new 'problem' crops up, and I wonder whether this parenting thing is ever going to get any easier.

And the truth is, it probably won't. Here I am, waiting impatiently for him to reach the next milestone, but each new thing he can do takes him further away from me. In no time at all, I'll be worrying about leaving him alone for a second lest he start climbing the TV cabinet or the bookcase or crawling onto Jedi's bed. Next I'll worry about how he'll cope at school, and then I'll wonder what I've done wrong when he hits puberty and decides I'm the enemy.

That blog post made me stop and count my blessings.

A baby that doesn't go anywhere while I make a cup of tea is not such a bad thing.
I don't love getting up at 5.30 am, but those precious moments of cuddling a warm, sleepy baby and kissing the top of his downy head in a quiet house, just the two of us, are moments I'll never get back.
His clinginess when we're out in public can be annoying, but it won't be that long before he's asking me not to kiss him goodbye in front of his friends when I drop him off at school.
The days when just about everything seems to make him cry are interminable, but then he'll give me a smile that takes my breath away and lights up the whole world.
Seeing how much he loves George and the joy the two bring to each other makes all the difficult days worthwhile.

So I'm slowing down, and I'm enjoying each step of his development, even if it doesn't necessarily correlate with what the books say he should be doing right now. These milestones will have no effect on his future success, and they certainly won't change how I feel about him. Above all, I don't want to wish his life away, because one day soon I'll lament that he no longer thinks my yawns are the funniest thing in the world.

When he's at high school, or university, or starting his career, no one will remember that he didn't crawl, or walk, or talk until he was X months old. This first six months of challenges will be long buried under those that follow, but the rewards will far outweigh them, just as they do today.

27 January 2012

Ban the grunt? Really?

OK, so this is a bit of a departure from my usual material, but this 'issue' has only just caught my attention and I can barely believe it's serious.

I'll admit that I know very little about, and have very little interest in all things sports. So it probably looks like I've been living under a rock to not be aware of the apparently long-held controversy over the 'grunt' in tennis. But it seems that the players' enthusiastic grunts, groans and shrieks are pissing off the fans.

Let us all heave a collective 'awwww' for the poor fans. Who cares?

Sure, the various sounds that come out of these elite sportspeople's mouths can range from interesting to amusing to annoying. But is it really that much of a nuisance that we want to ban them from expressing something that I dare say is largely a subconscious response to the pressures of the game as they play it?

Have you ever watched a classical musician play? Seen their heads wobble comically, their mouths move in a range of bizarre contortions as they ply their instrument to create beautiful music? Would we ask them to please refrain from this because it detracts from the beauty of their art? So why would we expect tennis players to stop what is most likely coming unbidden from inside them during the competition?

Some believe the players are using these vocalisations to 'cheat' or gain an advantage over their opponent. Not knowing a whole lot about the game, I won't deny this is a possibility. A few months ago I wouldn't have believed grunting, yelping or shrieking could possibly do anything to help someone while playing sport. I'm the shy, retiring type, and the idea of using my voice as a thing of power had never occurred to me.

But that was before I went through labour, the majority of it without painkillers. I began with deep breathing and progressed over the hours to bellowing with no embarrassment whatsoever. The louder I shouted, the easier the pain was to bear and the more powerful I felt. I don't expect any special congratulations for doing this. I'm merely making the point that vocalisation can be a useful tool to deal with intense pressure.

So now I get it. Martial artists use vocalisations in their forms to increase their power. Other sportspeople use it in their chosen codes. So why are tennis players targeted? Is it because it is a so-called civilised, British game, so the players should just behave themselves and act like gentlemen/ladies?

And why do the fans think they should be able to tell these athletes how to play the game? They find it annoying. That's it.

Well, you know what, fans? I find your whinging annoying. If you don't like the grunt, don't go to the tennis. Mute your f*&@ing television. Start watching croquet or lawn bowls instead*. Or how about you try playing the game yourself against the best tennis players in the world and show us how easy it is to face that pressure without uttering a sound out of your perfect mouths?

Like I said, I'm not a great sports fan myself. But I can appreciate a good tennis game, and I honestly don't get what the big deal is about the grunt. Rant over.

*No offence intended to the fine sports of croquet and lawn bowls.